Today’s Relationship Advice is Toxic (Part 4)

I see a lot of videos on YouTube and articles right here on Medium as well as other websites where these relationship “coaches” talk about feminine energy and masculine energy. Women are told that if their male partners are not meeting their needs, it is because the women are not “in their feminine energy.” I am not a relationship coach. But I know that if a man is not treating his partner right, it is not his partner’s fault. Sometimes a man just won’t step up and actually be a partner, so the woman has to take control or simply leave. And we all know how hard it is to leave a relationship, especially when women are still told, in 2024, that we should depend on men. Some of us have depended on men who were not dependable and as a result, got trapped in abusive relationships. I admit that sometimes I tend to act a bit controlling, and that is because I was submissive in my first marriage and that ended horribly.

When these coaches talk/write about “feminine energy” and “masculine energy,” what I hear/read is that they still believe that women should be submissive toward men and allow men to make demands. “Let the man lead.” Some men will not lead, no matter how “feminine” a woman is. If a man won’t step up, it has nothing to do with whether he is masculine. He just hasn’t grown up. There are women who won’t do anything either, and it’s the same for them — it has nothing to do with femininity. Some men are controlling, and those men choose women who “let the man lead,” because those women are easy to control. Women who do not blindly submit to men are not easy to control, so abusers don’t want them… Unless they like a challenge and think they can beat (or, at least, manipulate) a woman into submission.

In the coming days/weeks, I’ll share more personal things I’ve experienced that have led me to these conclusions.